![]() |
Aamir as Laal Singh Chaddha |
Is Aamir Khan secular? Ah, what a charmingly irrelevant question. Because in India’s great secular circus, Aamir is beyond such earthly classifications. He is a Muslim, you see—and in our post-Nehruvian republic, that grants one a diplomatic immunity from the tiresome debates on secularism.
In India, secularism is not a national ideal; it’s a Hindu-only yoga posture. Only Hindus can be secular, pseudo-secular, or outright communal. Muslims, on the other hand, are expected to operate behind a spiritual iron curtain—untouched, unquestioned, and perpetually aggrieved.
Blame Nehru. Our first Prime Minister imported secularism like he imported socialism—from Europe, with very little user manual and absolutely no return policy. But when it came to integrating Muslims into this secular utopia, Nehru developed cold feet. He realized early on that any attempt to bring Islamic practices under the secular umbrella might provoke discomfort, or worse, electoral inconvenience. So, in a stroke of genius (or cowardice, depending on your vantage point), he handed the entire burden of secularism to the Hindu community. Muslims would get to keep their personal laws; Hindus would get lectures on tolerance.
This was the original sin of Indian secularism: to preach national integration from one side of the mouth while preserving religious silos with the other. Nehru spoke endlessly about unity, but when it came to a Uniform Civil Code—he folded like an origami swan at a peace summit. Why offend anyone when you can just guilt-trip the majority forever?
Enter Aamir Khan. A classic by-product of this upside-down system, where Islam is sacred and Hinduism is a punchline. Aamir doesn’t need to be secular; he just needs to accuse Hindus of not being secular enough. Watch him in Satyamev Jayate, the great moral lecture series where he’s part-therapist, part-prosecutor, and fully committed to the notion that every Indian social ill springs from some outdated Hindu custom. Or PK, where aliens land in India only to find Hinduism ripe for ridicule—meanwhile, Islam is carefully, almost reverently, left out of the alien’s confusion. How cosmically convenient.
I’ve never voluntarily watched an Aamir Khan film—life is short and his expressions are limited. Yesterday, curiosity (and Twitter rage) got the better of me. I watched three minutes—yes, a full three—of Satyamev Jayate and PK. That was enough to confirm two things: one, that Aamir Khan is a deeply self-conscious Muslim; and two, that his understanding of Hinduism is somewhere between a third-grade textbook and WhatsApp forward.
But here’s the twist: the Hindus seem to be waking up from their long secular stupor. Laal Singh Chaddha—Aamir’s latest attempt to recycle Tom Hanks in an Indian accent—releases on August 11. Except there’s a hitch: #BoycottLaalSinghChaddha has been trending for days. Could it be that the majority is finally tired of paying for sermons disguised as cinema? Could it be that Aamir’s movies are about to enjoy the full breadth of Indian democracy—in the form of empty halls?
Let the man screen his conscience to an audience of echoing seats. Hasta la vista, baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment